My Planet Writing- Fernia

Create and Describe Your Own Planet -

Description writing task

Term 2 Weeks 5-6

Purpose of this piece of writing is to:

Learning Intentions

I am learning to use language features to make my writing
interesting and engaging for the reader.

I am learning to use topic-specific vocabulary.

I am learning to include Te Reo Māori words in my writing.

I will be successful when I can show….

-I have used some language features to make my writing
interesting and engaging (simile, metaphor, alliteration,
onomatopoeia, rhyme)

-I have carefully chosen some topic specific words to include
in my writing.

-I have used some Te Reo Māori

Focus

We are continuing to look at descriptive writing. This week you are writing a descriptive piece of writing to promote your imaginary planet. You aim is to convince people to move to your planet. You want your writing to allow the reader to be able to imagine what it is like on your planet.

First, we will look at an excerpt of a video describing the moon from the Avatar movie.
Click here to get to video= Pandora.

Second, we will discuss together what you will need in your work to make it successful and look at
how to plan our work. Then you will plan your work and check with a teacher before you start writing.

Third, do your piece of writing.

Fourth, complete you piece of writing. Remember to proof-read (check spelling and punctuation)
and edit (does it make sense? do you need to change any sentences?) yourself and with a buddy and fill in your
self and peer-assessment. Check it with a teacher.

Here is my work:

Ferniea is as peaceful as a lion sleeping. Ferniea has no actual size and it floats
in the middle of Earth. The thing is - Ferniea is not actually classified as a planet.
It is a cluster of about 1 thousand rocks and the rocks have rainforest, nga here
(bush) and grass on them. A maximum of one person per tekau (10) metres.
Fernie's temperature is always however you want it. For example if you felt like
wera (hot) weather you would get wera (hot) weather. The atmosphere of Ferniea
is perfect for someone to live in. Ferniea has clean clear air and no one ever gets
a cold. Ferniea is also kept free of diseases but no one knows how.

You can get to Ferniea by climbing a rakau (tree) taller than tekau (10) metres high
and then jump off it. The only danger in doing this though, is that if you are not a
nice person you will just fall to the ground and probably break something or die!
 If you are a superior person than you will be transported to Ferniea.

Once a year a terrible storm comes and blows everything away. You can not
come back. This hurricane is called hurricane Wipester and happens because
all the nice people should come here and one family can not hog it forever.

Ferniea is a great place for picnics and you never have to buy anything for them.
In fact, in Ferniea if you imagine a food it will be in front of you. Once a year
everyone is called to the biggest rock and the oldest person there cooks a meal for
everyone to enjoy.

In Ferniea each rock has a akomanga (classroom). There is a mysterious
teacher which no one would tell me about so I can not tell you about the teacher.
You have to go to kura (school) if you are under 18 but you don’t have to go if you
are older than tekau ma waru (18). Of course if you want to you can. The children
that came from there did tell me that kura  is very fun, and their parents told me
that their kids learnt heaps in Ferniea.

In Ferniea no one is ever bored because the people in Ferniea always
think of something to do. There are no electronics in Ferniea because that is bad
for you. Ferniea is a very healthy planet and no one is unhealthy. The people that
come to Ferniea always stay fit and healthy even if they aroha (love) sweets.

It is very nice to go to because every night at 10pm when it is dark fireworks
light up the sky. They are all different colours and there will be colours you have
never seen before. Be careful... If you touch a firework  BANG!! you will be
transported very painfully back to earth. People call this the torture-transporter.
Although...the people that live in Ferniea told me to tell you that you should go to
Ferniea because it is peaceful. I think that Ferniea sounds like an extraordinary
place and I hope to go there one day.

By Dakota R, The main reporter of Ferniea.